Quick answer
There is no rule anymore. Tradition had the bride's family paying for most of the day and the groom's family covering the rehearsal dinner, but most couples now pay themselves, share costs with both families, or mix the two. What matters is agreeing early, in writing, who covers what.
The traditional split
Tradition gave the bride's family most of the wedding: the ceremony, reception, flowers, photography and attire. The groom's family covered the rehearsal dinner and sometimes the bar or the officiant, and the couple paid for rings and the honeymoon. Many families still lean on these lines as a starting point, especially when parents expect to host.
How couples handle it now
Today the money comes from many places. Some couples pay for everything themselves so the decisions stay theirs. Others accept a set amount from each family and cover the rest. Some families prefer to pay for one specific thing, like the dress or the band, rather than give a sum. None of these is more correct than another; each just needs to be clear.
Have the conversation early
Talk about money before you tour venues, because the venue sets the scale of everything else. Ask each family whether they would like to contribute, and if so, whether it is an amount or a part of the day. Ask the question openly and without assuming; some parents want to help and are waiting to be asked, others cannot and would rather not be put on the spot.
Agree what a contribution comes with
Money can come with expectations: a longer guest list, a say in the venue, a religious ceremony. Talk about this at the same time as the amount, kindly and directly. If a contribution would cost you decisions you care about, it is fine to say thank you and keep the wedding smaller.
Write it down
Once you agree who covers what, write it in one place the two of you share and keep it next to your budget. Record when each contribution will arrive, because vendor deposits are due long before the wedding. A short written note avoids most of the misunderstandings that start family arguments.
Frequently asked questions
Traditionally, what does the bride's family pay for?
Tradition had the bride's family paying for most of the wedding itself: ceremony, reception, flowers, photography and attire. Few families follow it strictly now.
What does the groom's family traditionally pay for?
The rehearsal dinner, and sometimes the bar or the officiant's fee. Today many families split costs differently or contribute a set amount instead.
How do we ask our parents for help paying?
Ask early, before booking a venue, and ask openly: would they like to contribute, and if so, an amount or a part of the day? Make it easy for them to say no.
What if a contribution comes with conditions we do not want?
Talk about expectations at the same time as the amount. If accepting would cost you decisions you care about, it is fine to decline kindly and plan a smaller wedding.